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Welcome back to high school,

But only the worst parts.

Take out the classes you loved

On Shakespeare and leave

The world of touched up photos,

Everyone wanting to be their most beautiful, false selves,

Touting their exaggerated, in-your-face accomplishments,

And forming soul-crushing cliques.


Sorry, friend, you’ve been hidden,

And we’ve decided we don’t like you today.

We are the popular, self-affirming ones,

The godly, religious, and politically correct ones,

And what’s more, we’re the nicest, too.


Welcome to the world of unchallenged opinion

Blasted out second-by-second onto the techno-ticker

Refreshing automatically on your iPhone, iPad, home computer, office computer, laptop computer and Roku.

Sucking up your precious, rare moments

With these thoughts:


Who liked my picture, my status, my quote?

I’m so well-loved, I’m so ignored,

I’m so, so, so, so, so lost.


(And don’t get me started on Twitter.)